I just read someones vent blog post, and now it makes me want to vent (mainly b/c of something that was said in there about me...) First of I'm really tired of the general label that I play Maple Story all day b/c in all honesty I dont. Just because you may see me play when you come visit/come home doesnt mean I've been doing that all day. I've in fact cut down on MS a lot recently and if you dont believe me then ask Steve or Ken. Maybe if you spent more time in the apartment around me you could better judge my day and how I spend my time, but since youre not, dont. Somehow I feel that venting in this blog is safe, but isnt, because I know no one reads it, but I feel that one day someone I write about will randomly read it and see what I have to say and then get all upset. I guess I'll never know. I can say that I see where the person who wrote their vent blogpost is coming from and I can agree with them, but I just irritates me when ppl go "oh he plays MS all day". No I do not exactly lead a lifestyle that compliments theirs, but you know thats a two way game. Its not entirely my fault I dont do anything them, b/c its equally their fault. The fact that we dont share any common interests is just life. I've grown to accept that and not expect anything from this person anymore (boy that sounds really mean but I cant word it a nicer way right now due to my mood). Summer is a good break for lots of people to get away from the people they see every day on a regular basis in college. I hope that once school starts up again in late Sept we'll all have clean slates to start from. Unfortunately for me I'm stuck in the oven known as Davis all of summer and get to bore people with my constant MSing. This is my last year at Davis and I'm really really bummed and sad about it. Junior year was the worst emotional roller coaster and I'm hoping that senior year will have better things to offer. Although the workload senior year will only be more intense. Everyone always brags about how they only take 2 or 3 classes and have it nice and easy...unfortuantly for me thats not the case, as I've got a full workload til the end. I'm kinda determined at this point to be around ppl I know as little as possible for fall quarter just b/c I feel like theyre fed up with me. When you see someone everyday or close to that you get bored of them. I figure maybe if I take a break from everyone for 3 months maybe things will fix themselves come winter quarter. I dont know really. The only two people I feel like I can always turn to for a talk and know that they enjoy my company are Charisse and Christy, which I am happy with but I feel like thats a failure. The reason for this is because I feel like I havent established any solid friendships in college to have a really good friend I can turn to and talk to, I'm still relying on OHS friends. But the fact is that college is so full of mindless drama which tears friendships apart and I try to avoid all I can, but nonetheless it makes establishing solid friendships hard. I use to think that my dorm friends and I had very strong friendships but that all changed as I drifted far from most of them. That left Ben, Andie, and Kevin as the only dorm people I still interacted with, but Id hardly call what Ben and I have interaction. Andies always busy and frusterated with Newman and now Kevins off to Hungary. It would seem that my next logical closest friends are my apartment mates of which I am good close friends with, but as I mentioned above, I think they need a break from me or else theyll lynch me. I've kinda given up on the relationship thing because I only have a year left and most of the girls I do have a crush on/have feelings for are not from the same year which would mean that I'd graduate and they'd still be in Davis. I dont want a relationship to have to go through the drama of the status 'long-distance relationship' because Im sure it wouldnt last. Besides I'm too shy to confront these girls anyway and I feel that perhaps thats best for now. I think one of my greatest fears is that I'm going to leave college like I left highschool, having strong friendships but leaving them behind to start a new life, and I dont want to do that now, I dont want to lose the friends I've made in college or else these last four years would seem to have been in vain. But for now it would seem...no girlfriends, no best friends; just me and the mind forging on into the unknown future. I guess that just means I have a girlfriend and best friends yet to be made. Thats what my last year if for then.

Emil's thoughts took float @ 2:19 PM